Tag: transformation

A Misdirected Passion

…In a wholly senseless dream

Photo by Holly Rose Thomas | All rights and permissions reserved

Death of the body is nothing
Death of the mind is all
Death of the deathly mind
That seeks to know itself in form

Death of the heartless body
That suffers, falls and dies
Is nothing to deciding to
Awake from deathly lies

My mind is dead already
All I see is war
Conflicting tongues pull out their guns
Travail: the body’s law

Attacked, I am attacking
Or this I wouldn’t see
Beneath my mask of smiles
The darkness hides my murdering

My mind it is the murderer
My eyes perceive the form
Of ancient grievances
That propagate what’s earthly born

Destruction is the engine
This entrenched, deluded mind
Is desperate to presume control
Of what it cannot find

So death is my salvation
Whichever way I die
Death of the body serves the mind
That wants to stay in time

But what I choose to kill
Marks out the different paths I’m shown
A murderer I’ll be
Whichever way I choose to go

And death will feel the same
Whichever way around I die
The difference only
Death once or another thousand times

And so I make my choice
Within the dreaming of the world
I choose to die to death
And all its extraneous forms

I choose to see the minds
That are at war within my own
As one conglomeration
One single form, my home

And as I enter into
Each and every one I see
As I receive them, cellularly
Energetically

They penetrate my being
With their anger and their fear
Every attack I’m humbled to
Receive and hold so dear

As they become the one
That stood here, separate and alone
The death of all their dying
That I’d savoured in my tomb…

Becomes our sacred joining
As the two become the same
The million-bodied one
Is sanctified within my heart again

And as the phoenix rises
From the mighty mountain side
Her wings translucent fire
And her scream a wakening cry

The souls that cried within my own
Released to freedom’s shore
Their own decision reigns
But this true gift remains for all

That there is nothing left
Of space and time and putrid form
That into the immensity
Of holy life we’re born

We stand upon the parapet
Infinite space below
We sense the rushing of the wind
Into the void we flow

And, falling, we can understand
The body’s ever been
A misdirected passion
In a wholly senseless dream

Stemming the Tide

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A futile attempt!

A beautiful, gentle stream, bubbling over rocks, winding between wooded banks
Author image, thanks to NightCafe AI Art Generator

All I can tell you is that I’ve tried
To quell this energy, to stem this tide
I’ve spent a lifetime alone with these words
Wondering if they’ll be written or heard

All I can tell you, all that I know
Is that these shoots have been dying to grow
And now their trouble is quelled and dismayed
Shelved and uprooted, dismissed and betrayed

All I can tell you, all that I see
Now I’m allowing this water to bleed
Stream through the cracks of my travestied crimes
Soulful expressions of opening mind

All I can tell you is that I’m free
From my desires and grave inconsistencies
All that I’ve misunderstood and denied
Previous decisions, washed out with the tide

All I can tell you, all that I know
Is that the seeds have already been sown
There’s no returning, there’s no going on 
To a life I have lived many times and is done

All I am learning now, through this dismay
Is that the form of things is my delay
All I’ve discovered is all that I need
A space beyond time that is welcoming me

All that is opening, all I can tell
Is that this newness will counter the spell
Of the becoming that I tried to be
In the dark depths of illusory dreams

All I can tell you about where I’ve gone
In the deep spaces, discovering my songs
Is the magnificence, far beyond words
Finding the phrases that want to be heard

All I can tell you is that I’ve tried
To quell the certainty swelling inside
But I have failed, it has risen right through
Every expression of wholehearted truth

With my decision to be who I am
All that I wanted before is closed down
All that I wanted and all that I’ll be
Is right here right now in this instant with me

Where it Starts, Where it’s Sown

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Is where it ends and the only place it can go

Water pouring and raging through a rocky course
Author image, thanks to NightCafe AI Art Generator

I guess what I’m starting to see
Through a mist that’s beginning to clear
Is that there’s only one who I’m never too much for
And there’s only one I can always retreat to
Can always communicate all of my water to
Just let the torrent come crashing and finding its way
To the heart that will always be waiting
Will always be joyfully baiting its breath
For each future instalment of death-wrenching honesty
Nuanced bequeathing of tempested opening
Crashing asunder the firm dammed up walls of intention
To be more like something a girl should
And not let my water spill out on the paper 
So wildly destroying all things in its path
As its poetry rises amidst all the glory
Of thundering musical grateful expression

Its your heart alone that will always be willing
Will always be mine, never of the opinion
That maybe I need to learn, now, how to rein it in
Hold back the power that’s fighting my hands at the bit
Writhing body beneath me expressing
Its dissatisfaction as, twisting and turning,
Impeccable power, impeachable rectitude
Wholly becoming the force of my need 
To be free from desire and free from contention
To drift like a deep forest breeze through the pine needles
Holding all souls that I meet with a gentle becoming
Absorbing their tranquil conformity
To an existence that feeds all it sees
A deep rooted gratitude implanted centrally

So I decide, I discover, I see
All of a sudden that finding a person
To hold all my water as I flow, eternal,
From the true source to the depths of the ocean
Is probably unrealistic and all that I’m looking for
Honestly, in my expression
In my extradition of purpose,
Projection of power, inquietude, restless ingratitude,
All that I’m looking for, all that I need
Is to go to this power itself to receive all my water
The power that, past comprehension,
Is peace, but dynamic, is raging, and now flowing faster
This instant then ever I’ve seen it before
Crashing welcome through memories, casting asunder
The past that I’ve stored in my body
And kept, all consuming, as troubled identity
Now I’ve been given a new joyful chorus to sing
It’s alive in my heart as I memorise
All that it gives me in each new breath in
Gently absorbing its richness and clarity

All that I need to become or to do,
I can embrace all this watery goodness,
And send it all back in an instant to you
You are the source and the ocean that holds me
As I wend my mystical, musical way
Back to the life that creates me this instant
In mystical, musical, magical truth
Accepting your heart is the one true redemption
From wanting a something I never can find
Or asking for things that can never be given
From all of my dearest projections of mind
Expecting from them what you only are giving
The perfect, incalculable peaceful knowledge
That all of my water and all of my flow
Will infinitely be received and acknowledged
And loved, in your heart, 
Where it starts, where it’s sown

Within This Instant

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A very singular solution

Worlds being grown in petri dishes
Author image, thank to NightCafe AI Art Generator

Let me give this day to you in gratitude for all the peace you’ve given
And continue to within the certainty I’m living through you
In this present, glorious, powerful security
That deep within and far beyond the world of form I’m free

The separate mind is a confusion of a billion troubled cares
Confessing instability, transgressions, unaware
Of all the power that is circulating through its very veins and nervous system 
As it shuns the thoughts that it itself has given
But has bound up in a memory that seems to play before its eyes
Surpassing inhibitions, heedless to its troubled cries

Into this belief in anguished nothingness the answer comes
And offers to the asking mind one solution to its myriad questions
In a singular experience that shows
Far beyond misapprehension that the world is grown inside a petri dish 
Within the stark laboratory of separate mind
That seeks to circumvent responsibility for what it finds
For what it fears, as, troubled now, unconscious, disbelieving 
Of ‘the how’ the world is made each instant
Deep within the tempest of its own beliefs and every thought it thinks
And everything it sees; the circular experience of fathering a dream

In gratitude I give this day to you as I begin to see
That deep within the dreaming of such instability
There falls and lies and rises through the misted anguish that I knew before
A new interpretation that will feed me at my core

We know that a theology on which every mind can agree
Is stark impossibility and not to be alluded to or dreamed
But an experience that takes each mind beyond the tramp
Of trudging through the suffering of pain unto indignity
That takes the hand and leads the dance out to the starry universe
Beyond what it had previously allowed itself to know and see
But accessed only deep within and centred through the body mind
A root that guides the self to the experience that its free

A common experience is ours to know, indeed

I rest within my gratitude, my rancour is dispersed and cowed
As to this great awakening I open and allow myself 
To conjugate and be the beauty of the universal peace of clarity
As all I’ve been, within this instant, is released

All I’ve Ever Been

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A love poem to water

Pink blossom trees overhanging a beautiful still lake, a gently sloping bank just asking you to sit for while then dive in!
Author image, thanks to NightCafe AI

I let myself be water 
As I finally choose to see
That deep within the mysteries
Of life, I’m always free

I let myself be water
As my tendencies to hide
Are loosening as the swell of beauty
Rises through my peace of mind

I struggled with my water 
Because I refused to see
That deep within the mysteries of the soul
I’m running free

Coursing through the fields of battle
Ever flowing rhyme,
Past such scenes of devastation
Guardians of time

I’d forgotten I was water
As I tried to be
Something that was static
Cast in stone amid the stream

In the dream of sanctuary
I’ve finally deigned to tell
Stories of the gratitude
That lift my heart to swell

With the water’s majesty
And with her sacred flow,
As I return to that which courses
Humble through the gloam

In gratitude I rise 
Amid the water’s folky rhyme,
Its purity immerses my
Intention to divine

The fear that I had lived within,
Believed myself to be,
It’s thus released and handed to
The flow of perfect peace

The mysteries that engulfed my mind
And left me crooked, bowed,
Are now revealed in candour
As my heart finds its way home

The spaciousness, a watery grave 
That’s separation’s tomb
Is waiting with her open arms
I flow into her womb

As I become the ocean
With such startling clarity
I recognise within myself
It’s all I’ve ever been

Freedom’s Welcome

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Here are the lyrics to one of my songs

Author image thanks to NightCafe AI Art Creator

I don’t believe in the lightning that floors the trees
But in its passionate force I retrieve myself
Floating amid a dark storm I called grief
It’s a bolt driven home through insanity’s hold

And I won’t believe in the self that was hateful 
I’m regenerated, born into stability
Wrapped in the grace of my own last resort
I find gentle humility turning to port

And my anchor’s not tied to the sea’s rocky floor
Where it ripped up the surface and cut to the core
It’s invested at last in a promise that’s kept
As eternity melts into all that I’d wept for

And rids me of any last necessity
To hold onto my fear or to doubt that I’m free
As the sun glistens clear through the depths of the waves
My presence is here and my past is erased

I am freedom’s welcome
The increase in gravity offers my gratitude
Peace and security
The dream state released to a certain reality
Home, I’m home, I’m home, I’m welcome home

And cast into the fire of all I once believed
Is the certain release of all I have perceived
And incredulously, I find myself free
When I choose to accept total responsibility

And the only response I can give
To all that I see now to ensure it lives
Is to breathe it on home, and to know that it’s mine
’Cause perception’s a dream, and reflections divine

Are created the moment I open my mind
To a generous beauty that words cannot find
I allow myself here, I allow myself now
Because everything else is as boring as hell

And reality’s sight is so deliciously
Full of light and of freedom, the juicy totality
Rises to greet the new mind that I am
And all my reflections stand here hand in hand

We are freedom’s welcome
The increase in sanity offers my gratitude
Peace and security
The dream state released to a certain reality
Home, I’m home, I’m home, I’m welcome home

Grace, so still, invisible to me
In each moment previously

Is holding my heart in the palm of its hand
Is providing the runway on which I can land
Is here and is now, in this space and this time
Is directing these passions, providing these rhymes

We are freedom’s welcome
The increase in frequency offers my gratitude
Peace and security
The dream state released to a certain reality
Home, I’m home, I’m home, I’m welcome home

We are freedom’s welcome
The increase in frequency offers my gratitude
Peace and eternity
The dream state released to a certain reality
Home, I’m home, I’m home, I’m welcome home

The Call to Dive Within the Soul

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Inspiration sparked by the mystical beauty of Teresa of Ávila’s ‘Interior Castle’

Image created by author with NightCafe AI Art Generator

Soul of wisdom, soul of truth,
Soul of blessed heart divine,
In the mansion of your truth
I rest within your precious climes

In sultry dusks intrepid hearts
Will rise to rein their glory home,
Their pounding power beats the turf
Devouring illusions sown

Within a grist that’s milled its troubled last
A thousand billion years,
That tortured itself with the past:
A myriad treaties for its tears

And suddenly it hears a sigh
Its own beginning breaking through
The troubled stance it sought continuance
Within its darkened truths

Admonishing itself at once
For failing heretofore to see
The power of decision 
In the mind that chooses to be free

Arise, arise, and hearken to
The deepest truth you cannot bear,
That rising through your choice for darkness,
Waking through a chorus fair

Succumbing to the glorious song
Angelic harmonies become
The coalescence of the soul 
Divided from the precious One

The sacrosanct, the chiming bell
That in each soul will ever sing
To welcome hearts that ache 
To witness to its clear and gentle ring

The call to dive within the soul
To taste the pleasures sweet and deep,
That humble minds can slide within
Its wealth of treasures here to reap

And rising, as the phoenix
In its mighty wings the power be,
To recognise illusions 
And to let the mind soar free

No fight is heard, no struggle won
For as you turn and look behind,
You recognise the past is gone
All are released, the things of time

From here within the instant
Of such powerful clarity,
The wisdom of your rising heart
Takes root within your majesty

Ever Known

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Words received in the wildness and openness of the full moon

Image created by author with NightCafe AI Art Generator

The wildness of the mind 
That is discovering its way home
It reaches to the mind
Communicating with its own

Joining in the sultry light
The ever rising moon
Is casting on the shrubs
That skirt the desert’s holy runes

It wanders in the scrub 
And finds its way by scent alone
To everlasting openness
Expanding through its starry dome

Into the gentle stillness
With the quiet night time sounds
Surrounding it, encapsulate
By air and solid ground

The mind that finds its way
Past evil traps to sacred ways
That travels forward to rescind
The painful darkest days

That casts intrepid light
Upon the core of what was heard
Just a moment previously
Unlearning all it learned

Unhearing all it heard
Now disillusioned to the sight
Of everything it thought it saw
Within the misty light

That opens into heartfelt sorrow
As the die is thrown
Into the abyss 
Of all that heretofore was known

Waking as from dreams of horror
Mysteries shatter, fall
Into a billion pieces
As the battle cries its call

Out across deserted lands
That bleak and sombre seemed
To lie in wait before you
Now transformed and blessed, redeemed

Into this courageous mind
That is washed clean, prepared for new
Enters the beginning 
Of a new and precious truth

Entering the sunset
Of a peace that calls it home
To where it’s ever tranquil
Ever nourished, ever known

The Snake

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POETRY

A poem seen and felt in my heart

Image created by author with Artist.AI Art Generator

I feel him rising at my heart
The temptress tamed and wrest apart
From all his wicked winding ways
So straight the path he climbs and stays
Upon, as through my heart he glides
His body’s movement nimble, lithe,
He casts a stone upon the shore
Of welcome at my beating door

And then, as sudden as the tide
He rises to my throat and chides
The darkness that was trying to hide there
Now releasing, open wide
He lingers, filling all I feel
With tender energy and zeal
He lingers, gliding quelled a while
And lifts his heart within my smile

Sated, now his sliding trills
Into a movement upwards still
As up to my third eye he climbs
With gliding body, perfect mind
Into grace with every sweeping
Movement, now my faith to keep

As he rises to my fore
His lust presents to patent core
A memory succinct, agree-
-able to every worldly taste
But ridiculed by all who see
The freedom that surpasses thee
Thou tempting, crazed, deluded one
That eats from earth, rises by sun

I now am free to finally choose
The light of truth that in me glows
The peace of truth that rests in me
The eyes of truth that in me see
The grace of perfect, loving care
That rests within and finds me there
The gentle, lilting vocal tones
That rouse me here and take me home

I Become My Lover

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The heart of you is rising in my deepest brightest soul

Image created by author with NightCafe AI Art Generator

I become my lover
In the mystery of the night,
He sees within my breaking heart
The waking of the light

I rest within my lover’s arms
His clarity I breathe
My misdirection altered
To the path he sees for me

He holds my head upon his breast
Undressing all my plight
Within his sacred purity
I recognise the light

He tears apart my misery
And shows me caverns gold
That sparkle in the luminescent
Beacon that he holds

My lover is the morning
He rids me with the dawn
Of nightmares that had wrapped me
In my terrors old and worn

He wakens me with sunshine
And he blesses all I see
With a misty mountain air
That my heart has longed to breathe

My lover is the poetry
That flows within my soul
That offers me its beauty
And that perpetrates my goal

My lover is the infinite
Impossibility
Of capturing the flow of life
That issues forth from me

My lover is the sanctity
That I can never own
But within which I live
And breathe and walk and love and grow

My lover is the lighthouse
And my mind the rocky shore
Endeavouring to unavail
The purity within my core

My lover is the mountain
And I the traveller be
Who sits a moment at his ridge
And views the shining sea

My lover becomes part of me
As now we cease to be
Anything that separation
Knows, pretends to see

My lover becomes part of me
As now we cease to know
Anything that separation
Seeks or tries to show