Tag: support

Do You Remember…

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…my love for you?

Two outstretched hands with forefingers almost touching
Thank you Shoeib Abolhassani on Unsplash for the image

Do you remember how many times
I told you I loved you and held your face
So close to mine, my hand on your head
Our bodies aligned, all fear erased

Do you remember now you’re in pain
Determined to fight with a past you can’t change
But can only forgive and render untrue
As a twisted perspective still living in you

Do you remember the infinite love
The passion we shared for reaching to light
The gratitude, wholeness, and beauty divine
The determination to rise above

Do you remember your humbler times
When arrogance cast to the floor, you could find
The gratitude, brimming with love, you were true
I watched seventh heaven arising in you

Do you remember? Can you say
To me in the clarity of today
This instant, ringing clear and true
That you’ve forgotten my love for you?

Do you remember how many times
We stood together, your heart in mine
The greater majesty rang true
In every holy breath we drew

Do you remember being in light?
Tempestuous pasts redeemed in our sight
As everything that was past and gone
Was the sacred path we’d journeyed on

Do you believe I can’t see through
The jealous haven you’ve quarried to
The depths of hatred you won’t rebuke
Amidst the storms of desolate truth

Can you believe what I can see?
Devotion, loving, true, truly
Chasms that open, painful, wide;
Your own to choose to dive inside

But you can’t shake the truth I see 
Only pure, loving memories
A life entirely given to
The ones you understood could save you

Do you understand what it’s like to find
An angel of light right here in my mind
Who’s desperate to serve what’s holy and true
If only you felt my gratitude!

Do you remember how many times
I told you I loved you and held your face
So close to mine and we disappeared
Into the divine, His eternal grace

I Wanted to Share it With You

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You who are always there

Rays of light hitting a dark path through the forest, with the end in sight
Thank you Christiaan Huynen on Unsplash for the image

I wanted to share it with you
The gift that penetrates my violent miscreating
Savouring its own gentleness, permeating so softly that I can bear its entering

I wanted to share it with you
Your mind, open and receiving, yold to depths of gratitude 
Whose consistency yet eludes my ever-presiding choice

I wanted to share it with you
Certain of your implacably honest, infinitely receptive heart 
I wanted to share it with you
The moment I began to wonder if there was another way of thinking

It’s been like cigarettes; a smoker allowing themselves to gorge on filthy air
Relying on eventual disgust and derision
Perceived pleasure turning to, finally unmistakable, pain
The remotest moment from my sanity
Gorging insatiable desire for vanity, victimhood and blame
Believed inability to change that which I cannot bear
Determination not to surrender my desperate need to one who is able
To help me

I wanted to share it with you
The loneliness of wandering deep in the darkness of my indignation
Though always, always, beneath the frosted ground on which I trod
In the sullen air I breathed
And deep in the mind that raged with clamorous certainty
There, unmistakably present throughout everything,
Was your love
And I could never have travelled the lonely breadths of hopelessness
Without you

Finally, I trust, the ring of responsibility will be drawn
The peace evocative of gentle laughter will return
And I will be my own friend again
Lover of all that is beautiful, simple, and as far beyond my raging
As the universe of light is beyond the weight of my quilted profiting
Though encompassing and dissolving it lightly within its own gown of gentle gratitude

I wanted to share it with you
The gleam of projected hope
The memory of miracles past
And the clarity that remains
Though sunk like a small stone within the depths of my murky assertion

I have been plagued by troubled notions
Drowning in perceived helplessness
Unwittingly recreating irks of my own past troves
Digging through subterrene tunnels and wandering on hills of blackened heather 
In wretched pursuit of my comfort and my love

I have found her, barren and weeping,
And though I do not yet know what will emerge from her finding
I can see that everything within and around me is still, gently, powerfully
With utmost, unshakeable certainty
Guiding us both home

I wanted to share it with you
The gift of my eventual becoming
I need to rest for a little while longer
But first, first I wanted to share it with you

Your Own

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In gratitude for perseverance through perceived adversity

Stalks and leaves of a tall plant and their sharp edged shadows dancing on a sunshine yellow wall, overlaid with the softer shadows of the leaves of a nearby tree
Photo by Holly Rose Thomas | The author retains all rights and permissions for the use of this image

I’m sorry that you missed it
I’m sad you didn’t see
The blossoming of beauty
That has come alive in me

I’m sorry that you didn’t feel
The draw to carry on
That you decided to begin
A different life alone

I’m sorry that your heart
Was never open to receive
The joyful understanding
That you’re being loved, received

I’m sorry your experience
Got twisted in your mind
That you believed the lies you told
Pulled up the blanket, remained blind

I’m sorry you’re not here to witness
What could have been clear
A blossoming of fruitful understanding
Past the fear

I’m sorry you weren’t brave enough
To sit it out and know
That all your indignation
Was a block to harvests grown

That all your insignificance
Was only in your mind
That no one was attacking
The defence that kept you blind

And everything you had received
Was your own story, told
A billion times before
An ancient history, dead and cold

And life itself was waiting
In mysterious certainty
There within the grievances
That stopped you being free

If you’d been willing to discover
All that lies within
Deep inside the core of guilt
And anger, hated sin

If you’d been willing just to look upon
The feared grime
That smeared and blurred your vision
And that kept you here in time

If you’d been willing to expose
The fractures of your heart
That, crumbling, could have freed you
From the life you held apart

If you’d been willing to decide
To question what you knew
Then all your indecision
Would have breezed away, blown through

And you would have been standing
In the space I know as me
Beyond the terror foisted on myself
By what I’ve been

Beyond the death, calamity
The direst treachery
That spread like eagles’ wings
Across the landscape of my dream

If you’d been able to stand still
And trust the path you’d sown
Then you’d have found me standing here
Your gentle love, your own

The Portal Is Open

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The mind is free

A shady path leading into the forest with the sun pouring down in the foreground
Photo by Holly Rose Thomas | The author retains all rights and permissions for the use of this image

If I’d been willing to open my heart
To recognise all that was crumbling and dark
To welcome the demons that wrested the swell
From the power that rose up to vaporise hell

If I’d been willing to set my heart free
From the hopeless becomings that conjured a dream
If my light had been shining, my will had been true
I would have made this so easy for you

If I’d been faithful and followed your word
If I’d marched to the beat of the drum that you heard
If I’d been firm through resistance and mire
To dismiss the beliefs that bedeviled the pyre

Of the corpses that past culminations had sown
Into patterns unchanging and restless, ungrown
That were clearing so beautifully, turned by the flames of forgiveness
To smoke signals, peaceful and sane

I’m troubled in turns by the reams of regret
The temptation to focus on failure, to let myself
Fall from the grace of the sweet moment’s gift
To resist the becoming, the swelling, the lift

If I’d only been present, I’d only been whole
If I’d only discovered the grit of my soul
If I’d only been willing to set them all free
Then my mind would have been in divine industry

But the power to be and the power to give
Are recognised only the instant that is
Are understood solely and only right now
Are redundant in pasts that are gone as we plough

Through the depths of the karma, revealed and released
Till a space, wide and precious, fertility’s feast
Lies there before us, fresh seeds can be sown
In the mind that has sent all its past troubles home

So “If only I’d been in the present with you”
Is denial right now of the powerful truth
That we’ll always be joined in our heavenly task
Of becoming the present, releasing the past

We’ve always been here, the unmasking of time to eternity
Happens each moment, divine,
That I welcome the beauty of wholeness and see
That the portal is open, the mind it is free

The Spirit’s Sight

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Bearing witness to the light beyond the dream

The sun blazing out on the horizon above trees on a gently sloping hill, opening up into a gloriously blue sky
Photo by Holly Rose Thomas | The author retains all rights and permissions for the use of this image

I know how to do it
It’s the simplest thing I’ve learned
To set you free from your misery
To witness you rise and turn

I know how to do it
It’s the simplest thing I know
To watch you free, in the heart of peace
Your roots reaching down as you grow

I know how to find you
In your happiest place of cheer
Alive with hope, descending the stopes
Of a lifetime forgiven and dear

I know how to meet you
Happy, alive and free
Released from the past, the heavens at last
Joyfully opening

I know how to free you
And how to see you now
It’s the simplest thing I could ever bring
To the moment I fully allow

I know how to witness
Your perfect liberty
I can see in my mind, pure present and kind
Your gentle majesty

I know how to be present
With the truth that lives in you
I see through the veil, torn, rented, assailed
To the light that’s shining through

I know how to love you
Wholly, impeccably
It’s the only way I can love what I made
If I see it as part of me

I know how to love you
The only way is to see
The shining light that clarifies sight
Beyond the dark body

The only way to know you
The only way to find
The love that you are in my deepest of hearts
Is to see you in light in my mind

I know how to do it
I know how to be free
I’ve witnessed the truth of His gentle ruth
In the light I know as me

I know how to do it
In happiness I’m home
I witness your light in His perfect sight
And totality is my throne

Something Real

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In gratitude for truly authentic expression

Author image, thanks to NightCafe AI

If you say something real
It can’t not be received
If you say something 
That within their own hearts they can feel

If you say something true
Something that feels alive
Beating deep within your heart
Or bubbling up inside

If you say something you can feel
Within your very cells
There’s nothing else that they can do
But feel it there as well

I can feel your words
Within my beating heart
I can feel the burning
Of your thoughts inside my hearth

I can feel the silkening
Of your gently tumbling hair
As you fall into the spirit’s
Wholly death defying stare

As you stand alone
Within the worlds that you have made
Raging at the forces
You believe can hold you staid

I can see your mind
As it’s lashing out in pain
I’m sorry for the winding pathways
Harrowing again

I would love to speak to you
As we in heaven do
Standing at the end of time
Each other’s dearest view

The chasm it is cursed
As it tears your plans in two
The teeth are gnashing wildly
As they are wont to do

The peace of being true
To the self that sings the soul
The force that clears the flotsam
From the mind that ousts the storm

Is wholly to be felt 
And wholly to be known
And wholly to be cherished
As you step in from the cold

So next time you say something true
I’ll hear you from afar
And answer you from closer than
Your gently beating heart

Free

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Lyrics and live video of one of my songs

A beautiful lake with trees all around and mountains in the background underneath a golden full moon
Author image, thanks to NightCafe AI Art Generator

I willingly slip into the waters that run
Deep within the self that I’ve begun to get to know
Deep within the self I choose to be
As I learn to let go of the dreaming of duality

And this time I let myself fall
Welcome the comfort of the arms that aid my understanding
You are my canvas covered walls
You are the structure that gives shelter where I’m standing
And each time you call
I’ll be there in leaps and bounds will fly across the heather
For our laughter says it all
The love that I’ve found here rips apart my twisted tether and I’m free

I’m free

I willingly slip into the riches that hide
Deep within this force of light, the power of my mind
Deep within the self that I am shown
As I raise my eyes and take this power as my own

From this time I decide to be
Everything that I’ve discovered in the light of love’s direction
Now I accept that I am free
And I believe all that I see within the light of love’s reflection
Each time you need me
I’ll be here in love with every joy and every sorrow
For I have faith in the love I breathe
And I offer it up anytime for you to borrow for it’s free

It’s free

Excavating Eternity

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…From the density of the human mind in time

Two angels comforting each other, having taking off their wings after a hard day’s work!
Author image, thanks to NightCafe AI Art Generator

The world is not a beautiful or pleasurable place
Though instants of eternity can be revealed through grace
Heaven is accessible, but only out-of-time
Standing in the ever present love of the divine

Hell is what I see when I’m determined that I’m here
On a time line, going to be dead, but ‘not yet there’
Watching suffering grow upon the simple hearted brow
Of the brothers I adore and wish that I could show..

..All of my experiences that you don’t have to be
Living in the painful supposition of a dream
But that you can waken, not through dark conspiracies;
Fearful ideas that still tell you you’re not free..

..That you’re being controlled by something else that is ‘out there’
Separate from the mind that you believe you cannot share
That’s another part of nothing, not to be indulged 
In the precious, perfect mind that you can know and love

The world is not a real place, although it seems to be
It’s a painful joke constructed by the hurt in me
My insane decision not to know the truth I am
To separate myself from that which pours love into suffering ‘man’

Beauty comes and goes in a world that’s built on time
Destruction is the certainty to which all form runs blind
But beauty is the ever-changing, never-changing whole
That is your mind in singularity, your Self, your soul

Time is an illusion so if I believe I’ll be
Sometime or another cast within my coffin’s sleep
Waiting for the fire that makes no more my body lie
Wretched, stinking, fetid, as it rots now that it’s died

There’s no separation, so there’s no reality
..To the thought of time that wends on, hurting, wearily
If I think that I can die, then certain — dead I am
As I assert my right to ‘live’ within this separate, suffering, dram

I’ll be standing there, watching the mourners talk of me
I’ll be separate then, if I am separate now within a dream
The dream of death continues, no escape is to be found
Through to life, eternity, at God’s illumined hand

I’ll be here in space and time until I choose to see
That waking to the fruits of life to taste their energy
Can only be achieved by a surrender here in time
A throwing up of hands, a diving into seas divine

An open hearted “Help!” that suffers not the fear or woe
Of myriad circumspections that within their concepts grow
In my crucial moment I was standing at the sea
Contemplating fear that all around me seemed to breathe

“If this is life, then it is not a life that I can lead”
I declared, and still declare, as I decide to be..
..What lies past the troubled foaming broth of human life in time:
I excavate eternity from density of mind

Because of You

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Finding the courage to give

Sunlight streaming through the trees onto a sheltered glade
Author image, thanks to NightCafe AI Art Generator

Because of you it opens
Because of you they come,
They hear the call to witness to
The ever pulsing drum

They hear the call to action
In their hearts, so blessed be,
And they determine to become
The light they see in thee

They come because they’re hungry
For what you have to serve,
The crops that you’ve been nourishing
Within your sacred verve

The spirit you have hearkened to
Each time that you have called,
Intrepid, to the warrior 
That tears apart your walls

In fearlessness we stride ahead
Through valleys dark and drear,
Amassing to our side
The hearts that rise amidst their fear

And heartened, blunder onward 
Though the path seems dark between
The glorious gentle openings
That in their souls still sing

We rise amidst security
Of knowing we are free,
In spite of the hallucinations
Haunting all our dreams

In spite of darkness clinging to
The self we knew before,
Our gentleness is conquering
The battle lines we’d drawn

Between the misty nothings
Of our hearts, so troubled through
Complexities of passion,
Contradictions to the truth

Between the old ideas 
Of reality, that sown 
Into the seams of royal robes
Had seemed to occupy our thrones

Because of you they’re torn apart 
And thrown upon the floor,
Their power disacknowledged
In the heart that looks for more

Because of you the souls 
Who had been struggling in the whelm,
Return to power, beauty, sentience:
Their rightful realm

Everyone Knows

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Everyone knows how beautiful you are
Everyone knows the extent to which you give your whole heart to everyone
Everyone knows how extraordinary the light that pours from your purity of soul
Everyone sees it, throughout the universe and further into realms that words do not have presence for

Everyone knows how much you shine
Everyone feels the light that radiates eternally through your expression
Everyone knows the beauty of your sacred smile that blooms and sheds its petals in swathes of gentle colour, lighting up the pathway for the ones who follow on

Everyone sees the depths you think you go to, to deny the promise that you gave us
Everyone sees, and no one cares, but you

Everyone just… waits
Waits for you to finally understand
That everyone knows how beautiful you are, how much you give, how much you love for the pure sake of loving

Can you not now give yourself to this…
This that everyone, everyone knows?