Poetry

My Endless Loving Home

Dancing with you in the timeless breath of eternity

Photo by Holly Rose Thomas / All rights & permissions reserved

Oh heaven of flowing light
Music falling from your lips of gentle gratitude
Endless natural river of beauty following the all-encompassing path
Unstoppable in its flow
Nourishing the soul that opens like petals on a waiting bud to the beauty and the sound
Opens to the cascading river of infinite tenderness
Swept away in its majesty, continuing whole and perfect through the flood
Syllables fall through ears to minds that catch it in their glimpses of the whole
Soak it up like sponges and succumb to its drunken love
An instant of perfect communication
Given through hearts that give up all that was their own
In the simplicity of heaven’s touch upon their waiting shoulders
Received by those who are no longer receivers
But vessels filled to brims and overflowing with your love
Oh heaven of flowing light
Dancing in the timeless breath of eternity
You are my worthiness, my clarity, my certainty of deathlessness
My endless loving home

That Is Where You’ll Be

In your open hearted giving of the grace you’ve always been

Photo by Holly Rose Thomas / All rights & permissions reserved

There’s not a moment when I am not with you, breathing through the lungs that nourish cells vibrating to the rhythm of my grace

There’s not a moment when you will not find me if you look towards the certainty revealed as you recognise my face

My gratitude to you is inexpressible in words that fumble, falling to the nothingness that’s cast upon the winds

Within the peace of breathing to the rhythms of my heartbeat you are lifted to the angels and within their joy you sing

My voice is in the feeling of the sunshine’s rays upon you as you turn towards my presence and become the golden sun

My words are in the whispers of the breeze that wraps around you as you cast your arms wide open and embrace the Holy One

The voice that speaks of clarity, that pulls your mind from trenches where you hid from dangers stark and landscapes barren as the Somme

Reminds you in its sweetness and its depth of peace and gentleness that all you were constructing is a long time past and gone

You stand within my clarity revealing all your beauty as you open to the power to redeem and bless and save

And in your blessed receiving, overcoming your intrusions, you’re releasing every mind to feel the gratitude it gave

You open to my voice as you become the holy mystery that’s revealed in the longing of your heart for what is true

And as we step together through each moment that you let your loving soul flow from its fountain you are sanctified in truth

I love you as the seasons cast their gifts upon the landscape, in the sharp of winter mornings, in the haze of summer fields

I become you through your opening to my voice that’s all around you, in the rustling of the secrets on the branches of the trees

You’re breath is always bringing you to depths within my majesty, your constant friend and counsellor, the wind that purifies

The thoughts that you’ve been given by the Son that walks beside you are your contact to his healing and his great expansive mind

So listen to your heartbeat, feel the nourishment that’s moving, feel the energy that’s coursing through the rivers of your veins

Feel my blessed heart within you, feel the gratitude that’s flowing from the Mind that’s giving birth to you each instant as you say

“I am yours forever, this is heaven, this is peace, you are my constant love and every instant I remember you”

And in your declaration I will fortify your clarity, strengthening and nourishing your widely reaching roots

And as you feel the gently rushing energies of love lifting up your mind to grace as you become the truth in me

Your heaven will extend to every kingdom in the universe of universes, in your giving that is where you’ll be

Reaching the Start

Receiving you in my gentlest heart

Photo by Holly Rose Thomas / All rights & permissions reserved

How soft is human intimacy
It wraps you energetically
In gentleness the mind can’t touch
But if open, can clearly feel and see

How gentle the hand of a grateful love
Inside your heart with the softest glove
It reaches and finds as it softly flows
Through the barriers you’d been dreaming of

How unbearable the softest hand
To the mind that’s clothed in ancient lands
That escapes to the hills each time its reach
Comes troubling its sacred stand

But how welcome to the heart that’s free
That has suddenly suffered its final plea
To be cast aloft upon the winds
To be ravaged in their wildest glee

The tempests calm in the gentled soul
As the touch of a mind that’s becoming whole
That is reaching beyond the fear of love
Is received by one loosing all control

I receive you in my gentlest heart
I accept the infinite love you are
And the infinite love you have for me
As our paths convene as we reach the start

I receive the gentle intimacy
That wraps around my heart as I see
That you’ve only ever offered me love,
That fear is over and I am free

The Depths You See

I spend my morning opening to the depths you see in me

Photo by Holly Rose Thomas / All rights & permissions reserved

The morning is the time that I will spend alone with you
Acknowledging the blessings that are flowing from your ruth
Acknowledging the understanding you’ve been giving me
As I wake to all the promises you’ve planted in my dream

Little gifts that open as I step into their frame
Explosions cast within the field of energy I plane
They ripple out from deep inside, touching everything
And all is reconfigured in the chime your beauty brings

You show me, in the morning, all the blessings that I am
You direct me to fortunes that I will accept, I can
You point out all the errors that were yesterday ingrained
And whittle them from planks that build the shelter of today

My treasure house is brimming with forgiveness as I ride
On waves that gather, swelling, depths that give birth to the tide
The inner workings of your love, that come so clear to me
As I spend my morning opening to the depths you see in me

A Misdirected Passion

…In a wholly senseless dream

Photo by Holly Rose Thomas | All rights and permissions reserved

Death of the body is nothing
Death of the mind is all
Death of the deathly mind
That seeks to know itself in form

Death of the heartless body
That suffers, falls and dies
Is nothing to deciding to
Awake from deathly lies

My mind is dead already
All I see is war
Conflicting tongues pull out their guns
Travail: the body’s law

Attacked, I am attacking
Or this I wouldn’t see
Beneath my mask of smiles
The darkness hides my murdering

My mind it is the murderer
My eyes perceive the form
Of ancient grievances
That propagate what’s earthly born

Destruction is the engine
This entrenched, deluded mind
Is desperate to presume control
Of what it cannot find

So death is my salvation
Whichever way I die
Death of the body serves the mind
That wants to stay in time

But what I choose to kill
Marks out the different paths I’m shown
A murderer I’ll be
Whichever way I choose to go

And death will feel the same
Whichever way around I die
The difference only
Death once or another thousand times

And so I make my choice
Within the dreaming of the world
I choose to die to death
And all its extraneous forms

I choose to see the minds
That are at war within my own
As one conglomeration
One single form, my home

And as I enter into
Each and every one I see
As I receive them, cellularly
Energetically

They penetrate my being
With their anger and their fear
Every attack I’m humbled to
Receive and hold so dear

As they become the one
That stood here, separate and alone
The death of all their dying
That I’d savoured in my tomb…

Becomes our sacred joining
As the two become the same
The million-bodied one
Is sanctified within my heart again

And as the phoenix rises
From the mighty mountain side
Her wings translucent fire
And her scream a wakening cry

The souls that cried within my own
Released to freedom’s shore
Their own decision reigns
But this true gift remains for all

That there is nothing left
Of space and time and putrid form
That into the immensity
Of holy life we’re born

We stand upon the parapet
Infinite space below
We sense the rushing of the wind
Into the void we flow

And, falling, we can understand
The body’s ever been
A misdirected passion
In a wholly senseless dream

The Railings of My Cell

Finding my way to the beginning

Image by Begoña Carreres — used with permission | The author retains all rights and permissions for the use of this image

I beat upon the railings of my cell
When I discovered them
I found the walls that kept me
In my self-constructed hell
I walked the steps that then appeared
And met the maker of my show
The self that I’d projected
Onto God and onto you as well

I’d sailed within the darkness
And beneath the sunshine’s balmy glow
Until I’d brought the storms that raged
And fought the battle with my foe
The self that is deluded
And determined to be bound
Attacks with rabid vengeance
As my cries to freedom sound

The depths of my discovery
That haunted me these live-long years
The clues, so reprehensible
To all that tried to keep me here
In chains of insecurity
The fear of being free
Of being light and magnitude
The power I now see

You can’t beat a cacophony
Upon the walls that keep you bound
Until you have discovered them
And know where they are found
You can’t confront the God you made
Your maker can’t defy
Until you find him standing
Deep within your self-fuelled lies

You cannot choose escape
Until you understand you’re bound
Can’t cast a restless beat upon your bars
Until they’re found
So make the mission of your life
(The quest will serve you well)
To find the edge of what you’ve made
The railings of your cell

Everything

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The everything that you are

Pencil crayon drawing of a tree with round green bobbles for leaves and round red bobbles for apples!
Artwork by Holly Rose Thomas | The author retains all rights and permissions for the use of this image

Everything wants to be with you
Everything wants to know
The limitless scope of your peaceful hope
The certainty deep in your soul

Everyone wants to be with you
The everyone that you are
Everyone joins with the precious coins
That flow from deep in your heart

Everyone wants to love you
To discover the love that they give
As their deathly hearts convulse with a start
Roused as they come to live

Everyone wants to know you
’Cause knowing is all you’ve been
Since the day you were born as truth beyond form
And deathly limbs became green

Everyone wants to help you
As helping you we become one
We demonstrate how the love we are now
Is the catalyst, all is undone

Everyone wants to be with you
The fruit that your branches bear
Is heavenly food for the seeds that you threw
Onto ground that was fertile but bare

And now as we join in the sunshine
Of heavenly treasures so true
Our gratitude swells as we open the wells
That will nourish us as we push through

And trees that bear their own rich fruit
Are humbled as they grow
Your orchard of love is the outpouring of
Your truth — the truth we now sow

Alive Within Your Heart

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An experience I received and that I cherish deeply — and pray to keep alive and powerful within my mind

Artwork by Holly Rose Thomas | The author retains all rights and permissions for the use of this image

Let me be created by you
On this day and every day
Let my heart be opened 
By the voice that paves the way

In this blessed instant
To the love I’ve always craved 
Opening, awakening to
Your beauty and your grace

No more do I depend
On those who walk in form
Now I am complete
Within the heart that’s ever warm

Ever rich in comfort
Ever offering me its own
Light that flows in rivers strong
That feeds the seeds it’s sown

Now I know your nourishment
Your warmth and gentle grace
Ever strong within me
All my darkness to replace

Now I know the strength of those 
Who walk within your love
Never more will care be worn 
While this mind’s thinking of…

Pondering and resting on,
Receiving what you are
I’ll never be alone
Now you’re alive within my heart

Do You Remember…

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…my love for you?

Two outstretched hands with forefingers almost touching
Thank you Shoeib Abolhassani on Unsplash for the image

Do you remember how many times
I told you I loved you and held your face
So close to mine, my hand on your head
Our bodies aligned, all fear erased

Do you remember now you’re in pain
Determined to fight with a past you can’t change
But can only forgive and render untrue
As a twisted perspective still living in you

Do you remember the infinite love
The passion we shared for reaching to light
The gratitude, wholeness, and beauty divine
The determination to rise above

Do you remember your humbler times
When arrogance cast to the floor, you could find
The gratitude, brimming with love, you were true
I watched seventh heaven arising in you

Do you remember? Can you say
To me in the clarity of today
This instant, ringing clear and true
That you’ve forgotten my love for you?

Do you remember how many times
We stood together, your heart in mine
The greater majesty rang true
In every holy breath we drew

Do you remember being in light?
Tempestuous pasts redeemed in our sight
As everything that was past and gone
Was the sacred path we’d journeyed on

Do you believe I can’t see through
The jealous haven you’ve quarried to
The depths of hatred you won’t rebuke
Amidst the storms of desolate truth

Can you believe what I can see?
Devotion, loving, true, truly
Chasms that open, painful, wide;
Your own to choose to dive inside

But you can’t shake the truth I see 
Only pure, loving memories
A life entirely given to
The ones you understood could save you

Do you understand what it’s like to find
An angel of light right here in my mind
Who’s desperate to serve what’s holy and true
If only you felt my gratitude!

Do you remember how many times
I told you I loved you and held your face
So close to mine and we disappeared
Into the divine, His eternal grace

I Wanted to Share it With You

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You who are always there

Rays of light hitting a dark path through the forest, with the end in sight
Thank you Christiaan Huynen on Unsplash for the image

I wanted to share it with you
The gift that penetrates my violent miscreating
Savouring its own gentleness, permeating so softly that I can bear its entering

I wanted to share it with you
Your mind, open and receiving, yold to depths of gratitude 
Whose consistency yet eludes my ever-presiding choice

I wanted to share it with you
Certain of your implacably honest, infinitely receptive heart 
I wanted to share it with you
The moment I began to wonder if there was another way of thinking

It’s been like cigarettes; a smoker allowing themselves to gorge on filthy air
Relying on eventual disgust and derision
Perceived pleasure turning to, finally unmistakable, pain
The remotest moment from my sanity
Gorging insatiable desire for vanity, victimhood and blame
Believed inability to change that which I cannot bear
Determination not to surrender my desperate need to one who is able
To help me

I wanted to share it with you
The loneliness of wandering deep in the darkness of my indignation
Though always, always, beneath the frosted ground on which I trod
In the sullen air I breathed
And deep in the mind that raged with clamorous certainty
There, unmistakably present throughout everything,
Was your love
And I could never have travelled the lonely breadths of hopelessness
Without you

Finally, I trust, the ring of responsibility will be drawn
The peace evocative of gentle laughter will return
And I will be my own friend again
Lover of all that is beautiful, simple, and as far beyond my raging
As the universe of light is beyond the weight of my quilted profiting
Though encompassing and dissolving it lightly within its own gown of gentle gratitude

I wanted to share it with you
The gleam of projected hope
The memory of miracles past
And the clarity that remains
Though sunk like a small stone within the depths of my murky assertion

I have been plagued by troubled notions
Drowning in perceived helplessness
Unwittingly recreating irks of my own past troves
Digging through subterrene tunnels and wandering on hills of blackened heather 
In wretched pursuit of my comfort and my love

I have found her, barren and weeping,
And though I do not yet know what will emerge from her finding
I can see that everything within and around me is still, gently, powerfully
With utmost, unshakeable certainty
Guiding us both home

I wanted to share it with you
The gift of my eventual becoming
I need to rest for a little while longer
But first, first I wanted to share it with you