Your Own

I’m sorry that you missed it
I’m sad you didn’t see
The blossoming of beauty
That has come alive in me

I’m sorry that you didn’t feel
The draw to carry on
That you decided to begin
A different life alone

I’m sorry that your heart
Was never open to receive
The joyful understanding
That you’re being loved, received

I’m sorry your experience
Got twisted in your mind
That you believed the lies you told
Pulled up the blanket, remained blind

I’m sorry you’re not here to witness
What could have been clear
A blossoming of fruitful understanding
Past the fear

I’m sorry you weren’t brave enough
To sit it out and know
That all your indignation
Was a block to harvests grown

That all your insignificance
Was only in your mind
That no one was attacking
The defence that kept you blind

And everything you had received
Was your own story, told
A billion times before
An ancient history, dead and cold

And life itself was waiting
In mysterious certainty
There within the grievances
That stopped you being free

If you’d been willing to discover
All that lies within
Deep inside the core of guilt
And anger, hated sin

If you’d been willing just to look upon
The feared grime
That smeared and blurred your vision
And that kept you here in time

If you’d been willing to expose
The fractures of your heart
That, crumbling, could have freed you
From the life you held apart

If you’d been willing to decide
To question what you knew
Then all your indecision
Would have breezed away, blown through

And you would have been standing
In the space I know as me
Beyond the terror foisted on myself
By what I’ve been

Beyond the death, calamity
The direst treachery
That spread like eagles’ wings
Across the landscape of my dream

If you’d been able to stand still
And trust the path you’d sown
Then you’d have found me standing here
Your gentle love, your own